Chapter 5 - Echoes

[ECHOES - LOG START]

My entire body attempted to rile upwards as my feet violently thrashed, and I jerked upright into a sitting position. I immediately took off the headset and tossed it aside without giving it a second thought.

”!!?”

Finally taking a moment to breathe, I took a steady glance at my surroundings, and yes, it was once again the bedroom of my apartment, left just as disheveled and disorganized as I had left it. Suddenly remembering the waves of pain that had continually washed over my body not even moments ago, I gingerly touched my skin and found - nothing out of the ordinary. No jolting pain or twisting torture from simply moving around.

“…”

Finally taking in that I was back in my own reality, I turned slowly to look for the VR headset I had tossed aside so frantically and found it precariously perched at the edge of my bed.

“Thank goodness it didn’t fal-“

I reached out to the headset to try and move it, when suddenly-

I remembered everything that had happened.

With that violent experience now at the forefront of my attention… I suddenly became wary. What would happen if I touched the headset so suddenly? Would I be whisked away into that realistic experience once more? How easy was it to get back in there?

“…”

Touching it with one finger, the headset remained still, not a care in the world. I slowly turned the eye visors away from me in case looking inside the headset would suck me back into that world, and slowly placed the headset back onto its charging dock.

“There…”

After gingerly setting down the headset to its usual resting place, another thought passed through my head - what had happened to Usika?

“No, it wasn’t real, it was just an unusually immersive experience…”

These uncertain words were what I decided on as I attempted to go to sleep, unenthusiastically anticipating the next work day that was upon me.

---

That night, I stayed awake for what seemed like the entire night. I hadn’t been sleeping too well prior, but tonight’s reason was a little different from normal. I spent countless time awake in bed looking at the ceiling, thinking about all the things I could have done differently in our scenario. The plan I had come up with from spur of the moment was idiotic, so there had to be something else we could have done to trigger the win condition.

If I had assessed the situation with even a modicum of seriousness, I probably would not have taken the initial blow from the monster for free. I probably would have tried to punch something hard nearby instead. True, I would have been shocked at how much pain I could experience, but with that knowledge, I would have formulated more options to escape the junkyard monster. At Usika’s full physical capacity, she probably still would not have been able to outrun the monster, but she could have hidden from sight, or maybe found another area with a pitfall, maybe there was some sort of magic core powering this thing and we could have smashed it and -

“Huh…”

It didn’t matter ultimately because in the end, I had failed Usika and her avatar had suffered a slow and painful death unworthy of anyone, real or not.

The lingering guilt of everything I had ever screwed up was something I carried with me everywhere, and this wasn’t the first instance of it happening. Most of the time, I would usually lock away any unpleasantness somewhere underneath - there wasn’t any need to dwell on those situations if they couldn’t be resolved.

“Sigh…”

I also had not been able to eat well ever since the experience. Truth be told, ever since my household had been vacated of its former residents, minus myself, my diet was at an all-time low. Normal food intake would consist of frozen food from the grocery store and sometimes app-based deliveries from local chain restaurants if I really wanted to treat myself. It was still garbage junk food, but at least it felt a bit fresher.

“Ew…”

But looking at all the cardboard packaging, the to-go containers, the once-and-done plastic bags riled up a sickness inside of me. It reminded me of the world Usika had inhabited, too close to my own reality, and the smells and senses of that encounter washed over my body once more.

“I guess… we could try something different today…”

Even I had to succumb to the bare minimum requirements of my body, and I uncharacteristically decided to change things up by walking to the grocery store instead of taking the quick car ride.

“This is… urgh…”

Walking through the eerily quiet suburbs to reach my destination, a giant truck rolled by me while spurting a factory’s worth of black fumes. For the first time in my life, I noticed how much the smell of vehicle exhaust bothered me.

“We’re here… I guess…”

Once I got to the store, I wandered over to the fresh produce and grains sections. I racked my brain for something easy I could cook to satiate my appetite and settled on raw broccoli, a carton of eggs, and a small bag of rice. This could make a simple meal, and would probably settle with my stomach a lot better, and with a lot less waste.

---

sizzle sizzle sizzle

shhhhhh

TING

After steaming the broccoli in a small pot, the eggs in a small pan, and the rice in a rice cooker, I apathetically put the ensemble together on one of the few plates I had on hand. Carrying it over to my computer desk (I could not get myself to eat at the dinner table anymore), I sat down and settled in to mindlessly take the first bite.

”..!”

It didn’t taste like much, but something about the texture, the smell, and the way the fresh heat unlocked an old memory I had stored away. It reminded me of a time when fresh food like this was made every day, but several magnitudes more delicious.

“…”

Without realizing it, I felt a small tear rolling itself off my face. I wiped it away without much thought and began to take the second bite when -

BRZTTTTTT

I got a notification on my phone. Pulling up the screen and unlocking it instinctually, I read the notification text and dropped the fork in my other hand.

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[ECHOES - LOG END]